Listening

It seems that when friends need someone to listen, they give me a call. It could be ranting about a husband, mother-in-law or teacher. It could be crying over the illness of a loved one or the loss of a friendship. I don't mind listening to others and see the importance of having someone listen without trying to fix the problem, judge the people involved or sharing the private information. I feel honored that my friends feel I am someone they can share with.

Here's the thing though, I have a hard time sharing my feelings with others. Oh I talk up a storm and will talk about anything from bodily fluids to sex to, well you get the idea. Lets just say I'm in no way shy about any topic. So why is it that I have a hard time talking about how I feel? Sometimes a friend, or Gary, will notice that something is off and ask me what's wrong. Rather than share my feelings though, I will simply say I'm tired or not feeling well.

A couple of weeks ago, I decided that I was going to try and start sharing my feelings with my closest friends, and Gary, and found that I couldn't do it. Gary, who is a wonderful person, wants to fix everything. Some other friends I tried to share with, didn't seem receptive and started talking about their own problems. Since it was a huge step for me to try in the first place, I didn't try again.

I know its important to share my feelings, because otherwise they just pile up inside and that is when my depression returns. I need to find a way to share my feelings.